Don’t be afraid to bail out of a marriage. If you’ve got to the break clause and things are not working out as you would like, you can leave. Divorce is not failure. Scientists do not give up when an experiment disproves their hypothesis — all data is useful. Dust yourself off and move on. 

There are some important things to remember when planning an escape. You might want to write these down. Bank account: have one in your name. I had to cry at the manager of Nationwide on Kensington High Street after I left Husband Number One in order to get a current account so I could get my wages. Take your pets with you. Every time I have left a man, I have lost a cat. However, when Husband Number Three moved in, he brought two cats with him, so these things even up in the end.

Also remember to pack your pickled puppy because they are almost impossible to replace and keep hold of your favourite wooden spoon. Husband Number Two took mine and I am still in mourning. That spoon had stirred vegetable chillis in every house I’ve ever lived in. I will now have to live in this house for the rest of my life.